Dear Internal Clock...

Dear Internal Clock,

You have got to be kidding me! Three nights ago, you knew I had to wake up early for an appointment, but you purposely reset yourself so that 11pm really felt like 7pm and I couldn't fall asleep. Then, when morning finally came, you attempted to convince me that, though my BB obviously said 9am, it couldn't have been much later than 6:30 in the morning. Tired and cranky, I dragged myself out of bed anyway, cursing your name and vowing to make up for it this weekend.

Now, it's Saturday. I could guiltlessly lay here in bed 'til half past noon, if I so choose. No breakfast to make, no meeting to attend, no dog to walk. But you! You wake me up at 7am - after a meager 4 hours of slumber - and I feel so damn refreshed I could just spit!

Where do you get off, huh? What kind of sadistic pleasure do you get out of ruining the ONE morning I get to languish in bed for hours to my little fatigued heart's content?

I really want to give you a piece of my mind right now; call you all sorts of nasty names, make fat jokes about Yo Mama, the whole nine yards. But I'm a 23-year-old female and I know how close you and my Biological Clock are - and I just don't need that kind of trouble right now.

Consider this a warning: Tomorrow is Sunday and I don't wanna hear a peep out of you until well past midday!

Love, Ophelia

Dear Media Card Fairy...

Dear Media Card Fairy,

Thank you! I must admit that, up until this morning, I wasn't sure that you actually existed. I had heard tales of BlackBerry users who had pulled connection cords too early, screwed up their media storage device, and, after invoking your assistance, found that their beloved pictures, ringtones, voicenotes, and the like were returned in pristine condition.

But it had been six whole days, Media Card Fairy. I was beginning to get worried! I couldn't take pictures, my ringtones were annoying and tinny, and I felt like a Grade A technology schmuck. On day four, with a generic meadow scene as my home screen instead of my favorite picture of my favorite person, I was ready to give up all hope. It was only my characteristic procrastination that kept me from reformatting the card on my computer and starting all over again. And thank goodness for that.

This morning, I pulled my treasured cell phone from underneath my pillow to answer a call and, upon hanging up, noticed an adorable face grinning back up at me. Could it be? I hurriedly scrolled over the my media folder and, behold! Embarrassing pictures of my boyfriend, unnecessary shots of my newly painted toes, radio quality ringtones, and voicenotes of me singing Maxwell songs to myself in the car. Everything was there!

So, thank you, kind Media Card Fairy. Never again will I doubt your benevolence. But, from now on, I will disconnect my device correctly from my computer, just in case.

Love, Ophelia